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SCarab's Favorites From rec.humor.funny
I often scan the newsgroups for humor (rec.humor, rec.humor.funny, alt.humor.best-of-usenet, etc.) Here are some of my favorite excerpts from r.h.f (which are, as far as I can tell, not under any copyright restrictions)

From: [email protected] (Bill Conrad)
Subject: At a bar...
Keywords: smirk
Date: Sun, 10 Sep 95 19:30:04 EDT

        To my knowledge, Ray has only said one really funny thing in his
life.  This is an account of that moment.

        Ray, Mike and Tim are in the Tiki (a bar) when a woman comes over
to where they are sitting to order a drink.  She says (to Mike): "You are drinking
rather heavily."  Mike replies: "I'm the designated drinker."  Tim had a
coke in front of him and said: "I'm the designated driver.  To which Ray
said: "And I'm the designated hitter.  So... Do you come here often?"

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From: [email protected] (Gail Elber)
Subject: TV: Truth in advertising
Keywords: chuckle, tv, true
A couple of weeks ago, I heard a radio commercial that said:

"What would it be like to lose an entire hemisphere of your brain? Tune in to
the Discovery Channel and find out!"

At last, they admit it. 

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From: [email protected] (Scott Austin)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Information Superhighway: The Real Scoop
Keywords: smirk, computers

As seen in "Abort, Retry, Fail?", by Don Willmont, from the July '94 PC 
Magazine.

-------------------------
Renaming the Info Highway
-------------------------

We asked you to help us rename the Information Highway, and boy, did you ever!

[runner-up info deleted]

The winner is Kevin Kwaku, who suggested that while the Information 
Superhighway is a bad name, it could be a great acronym, standing for 

"Interactive Network For Organizing, Retrieving, Manipulating, Accessing, 
 And Transferring Information On National Systems, Unleasing Practically
 Every Rebellious Human Intelligence, Gratifying Hackers, Wiseacres, And
 Yahoos."


Scott Austin
[email protected]
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